Sinking

It’s all been a bit quiet round here of late - sorry about that. We’ve obviously been working very hard trying to prepare a church plant. Either that or the hot weather has given us all the work-ethic of a Jamaican on a Bacardi advert.

We’ve just been kicked out of the world cup on penalties (not the plant-team, rather the England squad). Have you ever had the feeling of sinking inevitability? I get it when I’ve done something wrong and have to own up, or when something i’ve really hoped for suddenly looks unlikely. I think it is my least favourite feeling.

We had a bit of a disappointment recently when the house we had hoped to rent fell through. It was quite a hard situation as it looked fairly in the bag, and when it did fall though I think we all felt a bit let-down. When I saw the little missed call sign on my phone, I had that sinking feeling. I knew that the house had fallen through and there was nothing I could do about it even before I listened to the message. Sinking inevitability.

The house hunt, with a couple of weeks to go is, to be honest, a little bit imbibed with this emotion. The places we have seen are all quite samey, with little in the way of reception space or office space for me to work from. I’m left with the question of how you forget what could have been? The place we had lined up was perfect in every way - location, space and size. The truth is, whatever house we go for won’t be as good.

It’s fine, obviously. And disappointment heals up over time. If I was feeling profound I would draw parallels with disappointment in my own life, how God fixes us up and the like, but I’m not. I’m still recovering from a sinking-sense-of-inevitability-hangover from England’s earlier performance.